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Joke of the Day

"How many rednecks does it take to eat a possum? Two. One to eat it, another to look out for traffic!"

"A customer walks in to a chemist's. ""I would like some deodorant please"" The chemist replies ""Ball, or aerosol?"""

"How to pick up chicks at the gym Pasted from Facebook: A man asks a trainer in the gym: ""I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?"" Trainer replies: ""Use the ATM"""

"Technology has made it so much easier to complain about technology."

"How did the farmer find the sheep in the tall grass? Satisfying."

"What goes clop, clop, bang bang bangbangbang!clop,clop,clop? An amish driveby"

"How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side"

"I can't pet a cat without plotting world domination."

"5yo: I dreamt I ate your brownie. Me: Wait, what happened to my brownie?? 5: Dreams come true."

"Q. What's the difference between a lawnmower and a bagpipe? A. You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors are upset if you borrow the lawnmower and don't return it."