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Joke of the Day

"[homocide scene] DETECTIVE:""my god, in my 25 years on the force i've never seen a dead ghost."" COP:""sir?, we covered the body with a sheet."""

"A woman got wooden breast implants yesterday. It would be funny if this joke had a punch line wooden tit."

"Some of you have had some fabulous public meltdowns this year. From all of us, thank you x"

"My doctor wrote me a prescription for ""dailysex""... But the wife had to break it to me that it was actually for ""dyslexia""."

"I did a stand up routine on fonts, but nobody laughed I'm a Comic, Sans the humor."

"What do you call a German taking a shower? A Showerkraut."

"What did the blonde haired, blue eyed soldier become when he left the army? A veteran aryan."

"PATIENT: Since I got this new job my feet are killing me. DR DOG: What's your job? PATIENT: Mailman DR DOG: *chases him out of room barking*"

"For once I would like to find a babysitter that doesn't get all upset when she gets to my house and realizes I don't have kids"

"My wife and I are painting our house. I never knew there were so many greys. I hear there's a book about it. There's at least 50."