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Joke of the Day

"[homocide scene] DETECTIVE:""my god, in my 25 years on the force i've never seen a dead ghost."" COP:""sir?, we covered the body with a sheet."""

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"Either Chewbacca is in the next stall or someone needs to start adding green leafy vegetables to their diet."
"Have you guys heard about the new store called moderation? *They have everything there!*"
"What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultry-geist!"
"I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought: 'This could be interesting'."
"After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, ""what are you going to do now?"" God said, ""I think I'm going to call it a day."""
"Did you know there were vegetarians in Medieval Europe? More often than not, they were called ""peasants"""
"What's the Difference between like, love and showing off?? Spit, Swallow and Gargle"
"[on a first date] Me: So do you like puppies? Her: Oh I love them Me: Ok, so we'll both have the puppies Waiter: Excellent choice, sir"
"Been flirting with this hot chick in this bar for almost a hour now. It's only a matter of time now till nothing sexual happens whatsoever."