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Joke of the Day

"I'm just like the ghostbusters, except I chase squirrels around my neighborhood with a vacuum cleaner"

"Girls love shoes... so if she throws one at you, you know she's really pissed off."

"Grandma: You've left all your crusts Mary. When I was your age I ate every one. Mary: Do you still like crusts Grandma? Grandma: Yes I do. Mary: Well you can have mine."

"What do you call a German virgin? Guttentight."

"Two sex workers enter Trump's Russian hotel room. Sex worker: ""On a scale of one to 10, how would you rate us?"" Trump: ""Urinate"""

"WHAT'S a pirate's fav'rite Letter? Aye, ye think it be RRRRR, but it's the C."

"/r/jokes is like a beginner's fencing class. Lots of unwanted riposte."

"School taught me a lot of stuff, but the most useful was how to get ready in 15 minutes"

"How do you get a philosopher off your porch? Pay him for the pizza."

"""A computer keyboard has more bacteria than a toilet seat."" I don't doubt it, given the shit my boss sends us in email."