158112

Joke of the Day

"Why is the mushroom so happy ? Because he's a FUN-GUY :P"

"Did you hear about the man who did it with a parakeet? He contracted chirpes. And the worst thing? It was untweetable."

"I met a plastic surgeon at a bar last night... He specialized in male-to-female sexual reassignment surgeries. He was a pretty nice guy, but a total *womanizer*."

"""When you exit the bus please be sure to lower your head and watch your step."" ""If you miss your step and hit your head please lower your voice and watch your language. Thank you."""

"This bloke in the pub last night was boasting that when he orgasms, he ejaculates up to a pint of semen at a time.I found that a bit hard to swallow"

"When crossing the Delaware River why did George Washington stand up in the boat ? He was afraid that if he sat down that someone would give him an oar to row !"

"TIL that FDR was the first sitting President to travel by airplane Maybe tomorrow I'll learn who the first standing President to travel by airplane was!"

"How many people from Cornwall does it take to change a lightbulb? They don't care, as long as they do it better than people from Devon."

"Two blonds walk into a bar... ...you think one of them would have noticed"

"Before you judge somebody, you should walk a mile in their shoes.. That way you're a mile away from them, and you have their shoes."