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Joke of the Day

"It is not a middle finger It is my unicorn fist"

"What sways from side to side? Jesus on a rubber cross!"

"If Hillary Clinton is elected as our first female President it's really going to redefine a few things for me.... ....Like the words President Bush."

"I just saw a ""The Flash"" porn parody... ...the movie lasted one second."

"I will never refer to 'drunk me' or 'sober me' because that implies the second one exists."

"How did Copernicus become the first Polish astronomer? He was the first one in the country to look up."

"3 men in a boat with 4 cigarettes but no way to light them. What do they do? Throw one cigarette away and the boat becomes one cigarette lighter."

"What did the mayonnaise say to the refridgerator? Close the door, I'm dressing!"

"What's white on top and black on the bottom? Society. (All black people, take a jab - i'm jewish and not racist!)"

"If the majority of twitter's trending topics are any indication of the state of humanity thus far, we clearly need an asteroid intervention."