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Joke of the Day
"Why was Joan of Arc never good in debates? Because she could not take the heat."
Next Joke
"Why is it spelled 'cancelled' in the UK, but 'canceled' in the US? Because the US gave the UK that L back in 1776."
"Smartphones are pacifiers for adults."
"Q: What is the lightest thing in the world? A: A penis because just a thought can lift it"
"""Hey kids, you like candy?"" I said to my own kids, luring them into my van so I could get them to school and be at work on time."
"Why was the Dragonborn arrested in the Whiterun bakery? Dough fucking."
"ME: I've expressed this political opinion so clearly, there's no way anyone could misinterpret it. THE INTERNET: lmao challenge accepted"
"""So you spend 6 bucks on a beverage that has no booze in it on purpose?"" -me to everyone at Starbucks."
"Please take selfies. There are enough pictures of sunsets and airplane wings. Your face is more interesting."
"We don't serve time machines A Time machine walks into a bar"