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Joke of the Day
"[answers phone during job interview] What's the address here? The Pizza Hut guy can't find me."
Next Joke
"I get high before I get my Drivers License pic taken. That way I look normal if I'm pulled over."
"Why do waiters like Gorillas better than flies? Did you ever hear a customer complain 'Waiter there's a Gorilla in my soup!'"
"What did the geologist say at the Chinese restaurant? May I have Eurasian plate?"
"A pinata at my funeral so people will be happy.. but filled with bees so they're not too happy."
"911! I just murdered a bunch of people 911: omg on purpose? Hang on lemme ask, did I murder anyone by mistake?.. No one is answering, So.."
"Terminator doesn't google himself he uses Altavista baby."
"Despite how vital drinking water is.... I always turn my nose up at it."
"If you're ever chased by a police dog ...don't run over a see-saw, crawl through a tunnel or jump through a hoop. They're trained for that sort of thing"
"What do you call a woman with a purple vagina? Satisfied"