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Joke of the Day

"""I dropped the ball"" - things you never wanna hear during a Vasectomy"

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"I was awakened last night by the bulimic lady in the apartment next door. I knocked on her door and said: ""Please keep it down!"""
"EXECUTIVE: Calling our store ""Bed & Bath"" isn't working. How can we take our branding to the next level? BUZZ LIGHTYEAR: I have an idea..."
"My parents asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I said I wanna watch. So they let me"
"If you want to find a needle in a haystack, burn the haystack."
"I hate taking my paraplegic dog out for walks. It's a real drag."
"If you tell me my life would be SO much easier if I'd organize everything, I swear I will stab you with a fork. As soon as I find my fork."
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"Every time I use a public bathroom, one thought occurs...""Seriously? This many people have Sharpies on them at all times?"""
"Why do melons always have well planned weddings ? They can'telope !"