29885

Joke of the Day

"Why do melons always have well planned weddings ? They can'telope !"

"How do you measure pain? In Hertz."

"OSTRICH: *buries head in sand* ANTELOPE: You're crazy! OSTRICH: Shut your mouth and help me bury the rest of him. I'm NOT going back to jail"

"How many blondes does it take to... How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 5... 1 to hold the bulb and 4 to spin the chair"

"Sexual predators are never funny Unless Lena Dunham writes about being one."

"What's the diffrence between a girl in a church and a girl in a bath? The girl in a church has a soul full of hope and the girl in a bath has, well... EDIT: better structure."

"What Did The Doctor Say To The Dinosaur? Jur-ass-sick"

"A man goes to the doctors... and says ""I think I'm a moth"" The Doctor says, ""I think you need to see a psychiatrist about that"". The man says, ""Yeah I was on my way but I saw your light was on""."

"When our solar system was formed, the Sun was in charge... So the planets started a revolution."

"When I was a kid I slept with a nightlight... to keep away monsters who were scared of small, low wattage light bulbs."