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Joke of the Day

"What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? We don't know; she hasn't opened her presents yet."

"Did you know Robert E. Lee was an honor student in high school? He was also voted most likely to secede."

"People say to enjoy the messes your kids leave, because you'll miss them when they're grown and gone. I like to call those people liars."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Andy ! Andy who ? Andy little gadgets to have door knockers !"

"The barman says ""We don't serve time travelers here."" A time traveler walks into a bar."

"My Wife's MENU had only two items: 1: Eat it or 2: Leave it."

"Sorry I broke up with you via interpretive dance."

"How is an American teen girl different from an Arab teen girl. An American teen girl gets stoned *before* she has sex."

"Nothing freaks me out like trying to remember which brownies I packed in my son's lunch box"

"Every joke about reddits mods [removed]"