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Joke of the Day

"My Wife's MENU had only two items: 1: Eat it or 2: Leave it."

"Early bird gets the worm 2nd mouse gets the cheese 3rd cow gets the grass All cows get to eat grass tho, theres not really a low supply."

"Batman: I told you, if it's mine you have to say bat before it.. Like bat-mobile, bat-arang.. Doctor: Fine, you have bat-herpes"

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I've never let a garbanzo bean in my mouth."

"The waitress asked if I was done with that, I said yes but I'm married to it."

"The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared."

"What is a red haired persons favorite alcohol? Ginger Ale"

"Record breaking, visionary director Steven Spielberg: 'Wanna play a dull, killed off screen character?' Samuel L Jackson: 'Sure'"

"I was stranded in the swamp for days with no food I had no choice but to hunt down large white birds and eat them. Through the whole ordeal, I found myself filled with egret."

"Jesus was in his room masturbating when Joseph walked in... Joseph sees him and says ""Jesus fucking Christ!!"""