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Joke of the Day

"Some people have sex to make a baby but I prefer the old fashioned way of capturing a wild baby, and that's how I ended up in jail"

Next Joke
 
"I hate when a girl says the wrong name during sex They know my name isnt Someone Help"
"""What's a VCR?"" My 10yo instantly making me feel like the oldest person who has ever lived. I need calcium chews for my brittle bones."
"Don't you love the tan lines that girls get after sunbathing? It's almost like God came down and highlighted all the important parts."
"Why can't Ganondorf use the Internet? There's too many Links."
"I wonder if any Disney managers ever start a meeting off with ""What kind of Mickey Mouse operation are we running around here?"""
"Stupid millennials. Always on their phones. Always doing chatsnaps. Always being born into a world where ownership determines everything."
"I used to be able to stay out much later than this. I find I just can't any more. My phone battery just doesn't have the stamina any more."
"Getting a hard-on is the only way I can get my wife to leave me alone."
"I just ran into my high school bully and it was great cause I'm doing well and he's 17 which is very old for a dog"