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Joke of the Day

"Thousands of religions and you're damned if you choose incorrectly? There must be people in Hell asking,""So! What religion are you in for?"""

"What's the difference between Bernie Sanders and a coconut? Coconuts have hair"

"What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The Wheelchair"

"Why did the computer programmer put up his Christmas lights on Halloween? He always gets DEC 25 and OCT 31 confused."

"My coworker and I have the same job title with the same number of years experience. He was pissed when he found out my salary was only a fraction his. Turns out that fraction is 2/1"

"We were driving past the graveyard and my dad asks: ""Do you know why I can't be buried there?"" ""Why not?"" ""Because I'm not dead yet, Son."""

"I was just eating cashews and one of them fell into my bra. Is it still a cashew or is it a chestnut now?"

"I told the barista my name was ""Britney Spears"" just for giggles and he handed me my coffee with ""annoying white girl"" written on it instead"

"Probably the greatest 'a guy walks into a bar' joke ever! http://youtu.be/7UBCdzJuB34"

"*reads menu for reasonable amount of time ""I'll take the food."""