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Joke of the Day

"Thousands of religions and you're damned if you choose incorrectly? There must be people in Hell asking,""So! What religion are you in for?"""

"Whenever someone jokingly replies, ""Blocked,"" I laugh and laugh and then go check."

"How did the farmer deal with the stubborn sheep's wool? With shear willpower"

"""If you could be anyone, living or dead, who..."" Me - ""dead"""

"He asked: how do you feel about sex? She replied: Well i like it infrequently. He said: is that one word or two?"

"Arnold Schwarzenegger wakes up on easter morning..."

"I went to the zoo and saw a piece of toast in a cage. The sign said ""Bread in captivity""."

"The only indie movie I like is Raiders of the Lost Ark"

"Heard this one from WWE. Were you born on the highway? No, why? Because that's where most accidents happen!"

"Why would my wife ask if I was wearing this shirt when it's already on? Stop talking in secret code."