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Joke of the Day

"Why would my wife ask if I was wearing this shirt when it's already on? Stop talking in secret code."

"Me: I cant tell you how to do everything. You need to figure out how to do things on your own 5yo: Ok Me:. 5yo:. Me:. 5yo: How do I do that?"

"did you know if you throw a baby at a random group of people someone will always catch it so far"

"Whats faster then a Aboriginal with a TV? His son with the xbox."

"(Q)....What do fat chicks and scooters have in common? (A).... They're both fun to ride until your friends find out."

"As an adult, it's exciting to know that I'll soon be old enough to play a high school student on ABC Family."

"How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? One. They're efficient and don't have humour."

"Blind snipers have no idea what they're missing."

"What doesn't float to the top when it dies? A day old reddit post."

"What do you call a fragile camera? A glass Canon."