122659

Joke of the Day

"Me: Do you have any wrongdog? ""Ugh fine what's wrongdog"" Me: thank you so much for asking I'm doing terrible"

"How would you tell if the Queen was stoned? Her Highness will tell you"

"I just saved a bunch of monkeys on car insurance by telling them that monkeys don't drive so they don't need insurance."

"Batman: I told you, if it's mine you have to say bat before it.. Like bat-mobile, bat-arang.. Doctor: Fine, you have bat-herpes"

"Have you seen www.veryangry.com? No AND STOP ASKING ME STUPID QUESTIONS!"

"I AM THE BOSS DO NOT FORGOT Boss hangs a poster in Office ""I AM THE BOSS, DO NOT FORGET"" He returns from lunch, finds a slip on his desk. ""Ur wife called, she wants her poster back home."""

"If you need a friend (text me) need a laugh (call me) need a hug (stop by) need money (this number is no longer in service)"

"Me: *pouts at front facing camera* Front facing camera: I have a girlfriend."

"So I'm gay and single .... Does that make me homolone?"

"Congratulations to Mumford & Sons for winning six ""Golden Banjos"" at the 2012 Boring Awards!!!"