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Joke of the Day

"A teenage girl went to visit the doctor for her cough complaint. The doctor examined her with his stethoscope. 'Big breaths' he said. 'Yeah, and I am only thixteen' she replied."

"My 8 yr old son asked me earlier what the first two letters of 'fun' are. I laughed, we fist bumped, and then I sent him to the corner.."

"""I can't take this shit anymore."" --a clogged toilet"

"How do you prepare for a party in space? You Planet Thanks u/BostonCentrist"

"What the worst part about pulling a hair clump from the drain of the apartment you just moved into? Waiting for it to dry so you can glue it to your sex doll"

"You are so ugly when you looked in the mirror your reflection walked away."

"I graduated in zooscatology. ""BULLSHIT!"""

"Whats long black and stinky? the unemployment line."

"Why do push up bras not work for some girls? Because 0x0 is always 0."

"I'm pretty busy today, so if you could just go ahead and offend yourself for me that would be great. Thanks!"