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Joke of the Day

"Before firemen rescue cats from trees they always take a photo and that's where 'hang in there, baby!' posters come from."

"People ask me to do things months in advance and I'm like, WOW, how does it feel not to expect you might die by freak accident at any time?"

"2 potatoes standing on the side of the road. How can you tell which one is the hooker? The one wearing the sack that reads IDAHO"

"Who sculpted Mount Rushmore? George Washington Carver."

"Why did Gandalf have to go to the hospital to get a splinter removed? He had a staff infection..."

"Why are lesbians superstitious? Because they are always knocking on wood."

"What did one cow say to the other? Just the udder day!"

"How many Super Sayains does it take to change a light bulb? Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z!"

"Hypochondria? I think I have that!"

"Those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand."