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Joke of the Day
"Why did the hipster salmon not get to breed? He didnt use the main stream"
Next Joke
"Did you hear Barnum and Bailey Circus is shutting down? They can't compete with American politics."
"Why didn't Jesus get into college? Because he got nailed on the boards."
"There are two types of countries in the world.... Those who use the metric system, and those who have a successful space program."
"John Cena vs Jackie Chan vs Leeerroooyyy Jeeennnkiiinnns who wins? Nobody wins. My Senpai can only win. I will make sure of it one way or another......."
"Why couldn't Princess Leia find love? She was looking in Alderaan places."
"What's the difference between Mick Jagger, and a Scottish farmer? Mick Jagger says 'Hey, you, get off of my cloud' The Scottish farmer says 'Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe'"
"Never buying anything home-made on eBay again... I bought an 'Irony Detector' off of eBay, but it was broken. It detected everything *but* irony..."
"If an apple a day keeps the doctor away what does an onion do? Keeps everyone away."
"What do you call a stock broker having sex in the middle of his work? Insid'er trading. http://i.imgur.com/oTp4lvG.gif"