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Joke of the Day

"Why are there no pictures of Ted Cruz holding a baby? They always turn out blurry from him shaking them."

"I'm bored. If I were a man I would be scratching my balls right now."

"Why are black people so good at basketball? Cause all they know to do is steal, run, and shoot"

"got a fake ID w a picture of shrek on it. works everytime. bought ten shrek dvds w it just this morning. lady at the counter didnt say SHIT"

"Here it is, folks: ""Do imaginary octopi have ... (wait for it) (wait for it) PRETENDACLES?"""

"I'm obsessed with power buttons They just turn me on."

"What do you call a drunk dinosaur? Staggersaurus."

"A vandal smashed a hole in the strip club wall. The police are looking into it."

"I should become a bomb specialist... It's a booming industry. Heh."

"daddy's lap Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. Mom: Well, you have done the right thing. Son: But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap."