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Joke of the Day

"When you're down by the sea and an eel bites your knee That's a moray."

"I hate it when people ask me what I'll be doing in 5 years. I don't have 2020 vision, guys."

"I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time."

"A dyslexic person walks into a bra."

"I didn't like the idea of having a beard But then it grew on me"

"Things I learned from media: Sanders has won a bunch of states but must drop out Rubio shows he's a contender by losing nearly everywhere"

"Offering the floral arrangement as a meal to the gluten free, lactose intolerant, allergy ridden vegetarian is apparently not ok."

"You know what the first sign of AIDS is, right? A severe pounding in the ass..."

"Congrats, you've been selected for the job Me: Whats the salary? 10k now and will increase to 25k later Me: Ok then, I will come later"

"Sorry I was asleep when you texted me and just woke up when we ran into each other just now"