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Joke of the Day
"Last year, I had an Easter egg But it dyed."
Next Joke
"My friend died at an orgy the other day and nobody knows why. It's a fucking mystery."
"What do you call a Pho restaurant run by 9 Japanese chefs? Pho Kyuu EDIT: No one understands how to pronounce ""Pho"". ;_;"
"Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, ""Is it hot in here or is it just me?"" The other one looks at him and replies, ""HOLY SHIT, A TAKING MUFFIN!!"""
"I've got 70 hobbies. '69'ing and fishing."
"If someone wants to date me, I don't want to date them. Because they obviously make bad life choices."
"3 cars back at the Burger King drive thru gives you a devastating amount of time to consider your missteps."
"Why is everyone smiling at me today? *checks fly* *no pants* Aaaah."
"My wife wants to have a kid... I bought her a goldfish and told her to wait a few million years."
"How do you turn a washing machine into a snowblower? Give her a shovel."