122214

Joke of the Day

"Hollywood led me to believe I would have to do way more heat/AC duct crawling than I've had to do."

"Hello. I am Public Restroom. Would you like some toilet paper that melts in the palm of your hand? Here, have some empty soap, my child."

"I have an amazing gardener who's both vision impaired and dyslexic. His work is Mind BLowing"

"I'm still waiting for my date from last summer to come back from the restaurant's bathroom... I hope everything is ok."

"Dr Horrible got a great deal on getting into the Evil League of Evil It only cost him a Penny"

"I barely slept last night; I kept dreaming about mufflers. I'm exhausted."

"""Let's get this show on the road."" ~ Guy who invented parades"

"I'm surprised Microsoft didn't resurrect Bing Crosby to counter Google's ad."

"My mom would probably complain in my funeral about how somebody's son died better"

"Turns out ""pick the biggest one & punch him in the face"" gets you more respect as a new prisoner than as a new 1st grade substitute teacher."