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Joke of the Day

"I spy with my little eye. A kid terrified with my literally little eye."

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"I'm writing a movie script about a group of Kenyan refugees who are breaking track records in a suburban American high school... I call it, ""Fast times at Ridgemont High"""
"What does a homeless man gets for Christmas? A cold."
"I farted in an Apple store today and everyone yelled at me... Like it's my fault they don't have Windows..."
"I kept telling a pun to the passersby during a marathon It was a running joke."
"What's Helen Keller's favorite mouthwash? Jergen's lotion."
"Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered six offender"
"TIL something incredibly shocking about Germany's former Chancellor... ...he was **literally** Hitler"
"Why are government employees constipated? Because they don't do shit."
"Got Abs bro? Abs olutely."