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Joke of the Day

"Mum: Haven't you finished filling the salt shaker yet ? Son: Not yet. It's really hard to get the salt through all those little holes !"

"Why did the blonde starve to death? Her new phone came with a little packet in the box that said, ""Do not eat."""

"I know I'll be a good father. I've had my iPhone for over 6 months now and I've only dropped it 182 times so far."

"Since I have a lot of exams next week... I decided to buy a Seahawks jersey. That way, I'm sure to pass even if I shouldn't"

"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya, personal trainer. Obesity killed my father. Prepare to diet."

"I want to steal someone's phone who has 8000 followers and retweet the fuck out of myself"

"Found a concert that costs 45 cents! ..... It's 50cent and Nickelback /mikedrop"

"What's up with all these idiots on TV trying to talk to ghosts? I don't even wanna talk to the living."

"What's the convention for big-breasted female clowns? Silly-Con"

"Thanks for sharing your moon with me on Instagram. We don't have a moon where I live."