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Joke of the Day

"A classic Tommy Cooper gag * I said to the gym teacher: 'Can you teach me to do the splits?' * He said: 'How flexible are you?' * I said: 'I can't make Tuesdays.'"""

"Judge threw out a lawsuit against Starbucks said the Plaintiff had no grounds."

"I came upon a woman in the park So she wiped it off and called the police."

"Why does OSHA hate porn? It's nsfw"

"Why does Sean Connery hog all of the oysters at a seafood dinner? Because it's shellfish."

"I hate when people ask what I see myself doing in 5 years How would I know, I don't have 2020 vision"

"Have you never heard of the boy that cried wolf??? The girl that coughed bees? The boy that sneezed sharks? The girl that shit spiders?"

"Yes, milk from cows tastes nice. But to the person that first found that out..you have issues bro"

"Just shared w/ my son the amazing story of a boy who wanted to go to his friend's house & didn't get to go & yet everybody lived in the end."

"I pulled a hamstring and a pig fell from the ceiling and gave me a hug"