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Joke of the Day
"My girlfriend asked if I could play wonderwall on the guitar. I said ""maybe""."
Next Joke
"""Then, the handsome prince sees her dead body laying there and has to kiss her."" ""Ummm, what?"" ""Trust me, the kids will love it."""
"What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? One you see later, and the other after a while."
"How come you never see a pregnant Barbie? Because Ken comes in a different box!"
"It's like these fools at the gym have never seen a girl with roller skates on the treadmill before."
"What did the proctologist do to those poor people's butts? He rectum."
"This girl just said, ""You know that feeling you get when you really really like someone?"" and I was all like, ""Nope."" and walked away."
"Mulder: it's some sort of over-fed grim reaper judgment figure. Scully: we're at the mall, Mulder. That's just Santa."
"What kind of wine does ISIS drink? White Infidel."
"[after solid first date] Ok play it cool, don't wanna seem too eager.. *texts her 47 years later* ""Had a great time the other night :)"""