121996

Joke of the Day

"Whenever I'm feeling hopeful for future generations, I squelch it by watching my children move their heads instead of their toothbrushes."

"what's the difference between peanut butter and jam? Well I can't peanut butter my dick up ur ass."

"Hit snooze until the panic sets in."

"I went out with an Asian girl once I asked for a 69, She said ""Fuck off I'm not cooking egg fried rice this time of night"""

"Sorry for not ever wearing a shirt but my father was killed in one and I'm not about to make the same mistake."

"I made the Earth move for the last girl I had sex with. And then I moved it back to the hole I had buried her in."

"Who is your Grandma's favorite politician? Bernie Sandmaster Flash"

"A programmer's wife says: ""go to the store and get a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen."" He returns with 12 loaves of bread."

"As the judge said to the dentist: Do you swear to pull the tooth the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?"

"How do you make a hot dog stand? Take away its chair."