121971

Joke of the Day

"I just got whipped and gagged by a lady covered in a ton of specks of leather. She was a dot matrix dominatrix."

"What is the difference between an Israeli and an Israelite? Israelites contain about 20% less fat."

"My goal weight is not having to take selfies from such a high angle."

"What do biographers and serial killers have in common? Multiple life sentences."

"I am the big shot at my new job. I am the human cannonball at the circus."

"A nice buttocks. A *great* butt listens."

"Teacher: All Idiots Stand Up A boy stand up Teacher: so are you an idiot ? Boy: No I can't bear you standing alone madam..."

"I know a guy addicted to brake fluid He says he can stop at any time"

"It's one of those days where you'll be lucky not to see me on the news."

"A husband and wife are getting married.... Minister: And now your wedding vows Groom: A E I O U Bride: Omg do u ever take anything seriously? Groom: sometimes....why?"