143903

Joke of the Day

"Germany's survey (x-post from r/German_Humour) Survey in Germany: 'Do you thing there are too many foreigners in Germany?' 10%: 'YES!' 10%: 'NO!' 80%: ' !'"

"I feel like we really lowered our expectations of what constitutes magic when we began using it to describe markers"

"""Look we LOVE the script for 'Murder Bees', just change the name to 'My Girl' and you've got yourself a movie!!"""

"Why is Jesus terrible at hockey? He keeps getting pinned to the boards."

"I bought my wife a refrigerator for her birthday. I know it's not the best gift in the world, but you should have seen her face light up when she opened it."

"How did the Scot die? He got kilt."

"Saw a group of ants carrying a Funyun and it made me wish my friends and I had a giant Funyun."

"What do you call a Spartan king with a disease? Leonitis"

"Where are average things built? In a satisfactory"

"I wish cartoons would have prepared me for working and doing taxes instead of, like, quicksand"