143903

Joke of the Day

"Germany's survey (x-post from r/German_Humour) Survey in Germany: 'Do you thing there are too many foreigners in Germany?' 10%: 'YES!' 10%: 'NO!' 80%: ' !'"

"Why couldn't the Coast Guard save the hippie? Because he was wayyy far out man."

"I'm sorry I committed a home invasion but somebody had to do something about those carpets."

"U-HAUL, may I help you? ""You have any moving boxes?"" No all our boxes stay still ""Well you better go- wait what?"" Stop calling here, Dad"

"Q: What kinds of people don't get invited to blonde parties? A: Women!"

"Mother: What was the first thing you learned in class ? Daughter: How to talk without moving my lips !"

"The person you're eating with can't wait for you to go to the bathroom so they can check their phone."

"I don't think I'm ready for the emotional commitment of ordering a Happy Meal."

"how do you catch a unique bunny? unique up on it. :) How do you catch a tame bunny? The TAME way!!! favorite cheesy joke."

"So last year I dressed up as a bop it for Halloween... I should've known I'd end up in jail"