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Joke of the Day

"How many Jersey girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. They'll screw anything"

"How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow-worm? He has a flashing light."

"Oscar Wilde once boasted that he could make a pun on any subject... Someone called out ""The Queen!"" ""Ah"", replied Wilde, ""but the Queen is not a subject."""

"A priest, a rapist and a pedophile walks into a bar. He sits down and has a drink."

"Woman: When my husband died... ...his dying wish was to be liquidised into perfume. Friend: It's so sad that he's gone. Woman: Well he's still here in essence."

"midget in the library midget walks into a library and ask do you have any books on irony? the librarian replies sure they are on the top shelf"

"I just bought some presents for my epileptic girlfriend's birthday Just a few small gifts, nothing too flashy."

"Had a fight with an erection today... I beat it single handedly."

"The self-checkout line was invented by a guy who was sent to the store to buy tampons."

"[2011, pakistan, seal team 6 enters the compound] ""chief, something has brought the boys to the yard"" bin laden [making a milkshake]: SHIT"