91165
Joke of the Day
"My mate borrowed 20 grand for plastic surgery. Now I don't know what he looks like."
Next Joke
"Me: I bet you die before you figure out how to text me back. *3 years later* Grandma: Fuck you bitch. Say bye to your inheritance"
"OH MY GOD THE INSPIRATIONAL TWEETS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE"
"TIL That I'm NEVER getting prostate cancer"
"If all my Facebook friends followed me on twitter, I'd be dragged to church for an exorcism."
"Someone hash-tagged ""share the love,"" and I read it as ""shave the love."" I thought, yeah, I can get on board with that."
"You guys know Chumbawamba broke up because you kept spelling it ""Chumbawumba,"" right?"
"Any governments / terrorist groups looking to rule by fear should get some tips from spiders."
"A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Unfortunately, the beer doesn't understand English commands. But the bartender can speak easy."
"How do trees encourage one another? They say ""I'm rooting for you"""