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Joke of the Day

"No one ever talks about Peter Pans brother. Peter Pots"

"Why does the devil get such a bad rap? Because like everyone in marketing, he always lets his own stuff slide..."

"Said it before but someone needs to start a rumor that Muslims don't eat donuts so that people will start sending those to the mosque."

"I was getting drunk with this cute girl and booze was going everywhere. Then suddenly I slipped in cider."

"My daughter spelled America ""Merica"" on a book report so now I'm searching her room for Trump campaign propaganda."

"A team of computer scientists just announced their discovery of the new largest prime number. Apparently it's 5x larger than the last one!"

"If somebody at a party tells you they're a writer, get excited, hold up the nearest book, and ask, wide-eyed, ""DID YOU WRITE THIS?"""

"What is an elf's favourite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!"

"Someone asked me to Deck the Halls, so I did. Mr and Mrs Hall were a bit miffed..."

"I was dating a midget but it didn't work out. My parents and friends looked down on her. Bonus: It was a short relationship."