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Joke of the Day

"Smirnoff bought pabst Now traded as pab-smir"

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"What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye 'maighty"
"What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder without a protein shake? No whey Jose"
"They used to laugh when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well they're not laughing now!"
"I melted down all my various rewards cards into a universal ""Rewards Dagger"" that gets me a discount everywhere."
"What do you call a disobedient feline pirate? A mew-tineer! And what do you call a genetically altered cow? A moo-tant, of course!"
"What starts and ends with a 'v' and is only one letter? 'w'"
"If science is so great why hasn't it invented chocolate that has negative calories?"
"I've removed swim with dolphins from my bucket list. Mainly cos I can't swim and drowning with dolphins doesn't have quite the same appeal."
"A pirate walks into a bar... The bartender says ""Hey do you know you have a steering wheel in your pants?"" The pirate says ""Arrr... It's driving me nuts!"""