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Joke of the Day

"A pirate walks into a bar... The bartender says ""Hey do you know you have a steering wheel in your pants?"" The pirate says ""Arrr... It's driving me nuts!"""

"I can cut a dead tree in half just by looking at it I saw it with my own eyes"

"Watched Avatar again and long story short, can you untie my ponytail from this horse?"

"Was Snoop Dogg being serious when he changed his name? Or was Snoop Lion ?"

"""Every child's a gift."" ""Your 'gift' is eating his own boogers right now."" ""..."" ""I hope you saved the receipt."""

"My wife said I could cum in the other hole tonight. But for some reason she got angry when she saw me lying in bed with her friend."

"Is there a difference between our farts? Your gas is as good as mine :\"

"What did the boob say to the other? ""You're my breastfriend"" *Badumm Tits*"

"My wife has the body of a 16 year old schoolgirl... She keeps it in the fridge."

"I held the record for collecting Stephen King's books. Then I lost It."