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Joke of the Day

"My friend died of a methamphetamine overdose the other day..... When people ask what happened I say, M E T H O.D. man"

"Having my wisdom teeth pulled. They have nothing left to teach me. I must learn on my own from now on."

"If only the Olympics had an event that involved falling down and not spilling your drink..."

"Captain America: WHERE ARE YOU WE NEED YOU Black WINDOW: FOR THE LAST TIME YOU GOT THE WRONG NUMBER"

"Did you hear about the mexican train killer? He had locomotives."

"If We Elect Donald Trump President."

"Why are some jokes so funny? -Doctor, Doctor why are some jokes so painfully funny? -It must be the punchline"

"Couple: [hands me camera] Do you mind taking a picture? ""Sure""[click] Couple: How does it look? ""I just got my hair done, so pretty good"""

"Men are like horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong."

"Julius Caesar goes into a bar... ... and asks for a martinus. Puzzled, the bartender asks, ""Do you mean a martini?"" ""No. Just one, please."""