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Joke of the Day

"Let's not buy them two of all the same toys we said. It'll teach them to share, we said. We are idiots."

"Free Pussy Riot!"

"shout out to old people for graduating high school without google"

"My doctor told me to get a lot of rest and fluids so I've been on a drunk rage in my bedroom since 1988."

"Who decided smiling would be the default expression for pictures?"

"What's the difference between Whitney Houston and a black widow? Nothing. Neither can climb out of a bathtub."

"My bird puns are so EGG-cellent - Do you wanna hear a bird pun? - No - Well... this is HAWK-ward - dammit"

"Did you hear what the Feds found at Jared Fogle's home? A five year old footlong."

"I have two friends who always compete against each other in art competitions But they always end in a draw"

"Frederick Fox, hatmaker for the British Royalty, died today. He was one in a milliner."