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Joke of the Day

"What would you get if you crossed a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite !"

"I Read Something In The Newspaper A few days ago, there was an article in the newspaper obituaries titled ""Survivor of Nazi Death Train Dies"" ... I guess he's not a survivor anymore."

"The truck in front of me is hauling a fridge. Freezer just flew open and a chicken nugget hit my windshield. Day. Made."

"My eyes are puffy and watery. People at work are going to think I've been crying. That should squash the rumors that I'm a heartless bitch."

"What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller."

"I opened the microwave without knocking and caught my hot dogs touching tips."

"Pregnancy test that says, ""Your cart has 1 item in it"""

"I wonder if in 100 years, ghosts of today will spell out ""swag"" or ""bae"" on the Ouija boards"

"What's the difference between a mosquito and a blonde? The mosquitos stops sucking after you fucking slap it"

"I have got my own private jet, my wife owns rest of the hottub though."