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Joke of the Day

"I wonder if in 100 years, ghosts of today will spell out ""swag"" or ""bae"" on the Ouija boards"

"""Make it look like I live in a Cheesecake Factory."" - NBA players to their interior designers"

"Monster: I've got to walk 25 miles home.' Ghost: Why don't you take a train? Monster: I did once but my mother made me give it back."

"Help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the ass that I might have to kiss tomorrow..."

"Whats common between the world trade centres and genders? There were once two but now they're too offensive to talk about."

"If I had a dollar every time someone called my mother a whore... I'd be the richest client she ever had"

"Me: Waitress, can I ask you something about the menu please Waitress [slaps my face]: The men I please, that's none of your business"

"Did you hear about the horse that has made a dozen films? He's not a star though he just does bit parts!"

"A friend said he wasn't racist He said he wasnt racist because racism is a crime, and those are for niggers."

"What animal has five legs? A pitbull returning from a playground."