121613

Joke of the Day

"I donated a kidney once but they turned it down when I couldn't answer where I got it from."

"At the very highest level of karate, they give you pants that fit so you no longer need a belt."

"Last night I slept with my contact lenses on. My dreams have never been clearer."

"What did the tie say to the hat? You go on ahead, I'll just hang around here."

"My identical twin brother and I were both arrested this weekend. But there was a mix-up during processing. Now we are finishing each other's sentences."

"Blue cheese dressing makes anything a salad. For example, this french fry salad I'm eating right now"

"It's a shame that Samsung cancelled production of the Note 7... but at least they went out with a bang."

"What's the difference between a racist person and a racist skeleton? They both are insulting, but the skeleton doesn't have any body to share racist jokes with!"

"I was only mildly famous in the '90s but vaccinate your kids"

"Him: I think you pick fights with me to get out of doing things together Me: That's not true H: Wanna go hiking M: I don't like your tone"