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Joke of the Day

"No one is completely useless... You can always be used as a bad example."

"That moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, hit a lamp and kill a cat."

"A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, ""Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"" The doctor replied, ""I know, I amputated your arms!"""

"My teacher dropped the most dad like joke to me today Me: ""Hey can I go to the bathroom?"" Him: ""I sure hope so."" With the biggest proudest smile on his face."

"I can't believe they legalized gay marriage. What's Next women's rights?"

"Can't wait for it to get dark earlier so I can pick my nose in traffic."

"What did the toilet say to the pee? urine"

"Q. What is the bigest pencil in the world? A. Pennsylvania"

"Eric Clapton Did you know Eric Clapton's son was a speed reader? Six stories in 2 seconds."

"Q: When will there be a woman in the White House? A: When Hillary leaves town."