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Joke of the Day

"Interviewer: where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: In a mirror! Well any reflective surface really, windows, shiny cars, puddles..."

"What do you call a vibrating cat? An ocellate."

"Gravity is just the earth being really clingy"

"I read a story about a guy who cried while pleasuring himself. It was a real tear jerker."

"I wear Fake ""Vans""(Shoes) So I just call them cars."

"I just can't stand it when people make jokes about crippled people."

"Why don't Jews like to give rim jobs? Because it's too close to the gas chamber. I'll show myself out"

"Story of my life Dr: Have you been getting enough exercise? Me: Does sex count as exercise? Dr: Yes. Me: No."

"Camo couch? what is the hardest part about owning a couch that is upholstered in camouflage? Not knowing where to sit every time"

"My colleague can no longer attend next weeks Innuendo Seminar so I have to fill her slot instead."