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Joke of the Day

"If you love someone, set them free. If they return... something, something, Justin Bieber's a lesbian."

"Thank god this election is over. .....I almost forgot what real commercials were like."

"How do you catch a polar bear? Cut a hole in the ice and line the edge with peas. When the polar bear comes to take a pea, kick him in the ice hole."

"My stapler is pretty terrible at holding these pages together... ...thank goodness for staples, huh!?"

"Plagiarism Hey! I invented a new word: plagiarism."

"What is a rednecks favorite pie during the holidays? Pump-Kin"

"I swear to drunk I'm not God, but seriously, stay in drugs, eat school, and don't do vegetables."

"FACEBOOK A place where couples wish they were single and the singles wish they were couples."

"What's long and hard and full of seamen? The tube sock under my bed."

"My mother didn't want me to go to culinary school. She said it would be a high whisk environment."