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Joke of the Day

"Girl in front of me at the store this morning bought a Kool-Aid Burst and a big Slim Jim. Heroes walk amongst us, folks. Real life heroes."

"Laughing Hands I never knew hands could laugh cause mine are cracking up."

"Did you hear Richie Benaud died today? It happened this morning at twooo:twentytoooo"

"Why did God create alcohol? So ugly people would have a chance to have sex."

"If you were a tree you'd be a bonsai, and if you were mine you'd be dead by now."

"What's the greatest symbol of inequality? ="

"I was learning about the Holocaust in history class today. I couldn't concentrate."

"What do you call a badly cooked beef? A misteak."

"It hurts when you go to un friend someone only to discover they beat you to it"

"I figured out a way to chop onions without crying... The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion."