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Joke of the Day

"I hear crowded elevators smell different to midgets it's because of all the assholes"

"I recently visited Japan It was great until I confused Kabuki with Bukake. Slightly messier and more dudes...which is odd cause I thought Kabuki is an all male thing."

"Doctor says, ""I've got good news and bad news..."" The bad news is that you have Alzheimer's. The good news is now you can hide your own Easter eggs!"

"Watching Jeopardy backwards would be about a panel of 3 people asking Alex Trebek questions that he always gets right."

"I'm 23 years old Truly in my prime"

"Define the lecturer Teacher to Student: Can you define the lecturer? Student: A lecturer is person who has bad habit of speaking when someone is sleeping."

"Funniest Joke Ever. Nevermind, it actually isn't that funny. Ok well... A bear and a rabbit... No no... It's not that funny. Nevermind."

"An Irish guy in front of me said, ""Whale-oil beef-hooked"" I don't know what any of that has to do with forgetting your passport.."

"When I was a kid I slept with a nightlight... to keep away monsters who were scared of small, low wattage light bulbs."

"Once I got my art degree I didn't need to deliver to people anymore. Now they come to me, explaining what they want me to create. Then I ask them to pull up to the next window."