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Joke of the Day

"NSFW don't read if your easily offended. Why don't black people like to dream. Because the last black guy to have a dream died."

"And I thought I had issues. - Me, 36 seconds after signing up on twitter."

"Missed connection: you were washing your car in a bathing suit. I rode past your house 78 times. You threw a rock at me."

"A German underwear company has released a new line of Bra... They call it... ""Stoppinzam-Fromfloppin"""

"The recipe said to crush the garlic So I told it, ""You'll never amount to anything!"""

"So, I asked my grandfather why he doesn't have a life insurance His answer? ""Because I want you to be truly sad when I'm gone"" :("

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles"

"a group of ducks are gathered around a ouija board. the glass slowly moves, B-R-E... *the ducks tense up* ...A-D *ducks go fuckin nuts*"

"Trying to decide who to leave my middle fingers to when I die."

"I can't stand those 'happy ending' massage parlors Those places just rub me the wrong way"