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Joke of the Day
"And I thought I had issues. - Me, 36 seconds after signing up on twitter."
Next Joke
"I went to the doctor and he gave me 2 months to live. So I shot him. Judge gave me 30 years."
"if 9-5 is a full time job, and 11/4 is a part time job, what's 9-11? An inside job."
"How do you get a baby into a shoebox? A. With a blender. Q. How do you get a baby out of a shoebox? A. With a straw."
"Where is the best place to buy computer software? Washington C.D"
"They say marriage is like a three ring circus ... There is the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering ..."
"What's green and has wheels? Grass... I lied about the wheels"
"I just thought of the most badass hobbit name: Oak Smashfoot. Oh god, I'm so tired."
"You can put a satire warning on whatever you want. People who think Onion stories are real do not know what that word means."
"Q: How do elephants smell? A: Really bad."