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Joke of the Day

"How many film directors does it take to change a light bulb? Just one but he wants to do it thirty-two times and when he's done everyone says that his last light bulb was much better."

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"Pepsi just bought out Nike. Nike's new slogan will be, ""Just Dew It""."
"I tried to read a book on Nordic countries, but... I tried to read a book on Nordic countries, but I couldn't Finnish."
"Why was the young strawberry upset? Cause his mom was in a jam. :("
"I could Juggle right now, but I don't have the balls to do it."
"Knock knock Who's there? Probably a murderer because it's 2015 and a normal human being would just text ""here"""
"Great roll model A kid all confused asked his dad: Dad, dad..What is closer the moon or London? To what the dad responds all serious: Do you see London from here?"
"What kind of wine do bears drink? Maulbec"
"Is your smart fridge running? ""Yes? Well can you turn the damn thing off, it's breaking the Internet!"""
"All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word."