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Joke of the Day

"How many film directors does it take to change a light bulb? Just one but he wants to do it thirty-two times and when he's done everyone says that his last light bulb was much better."

Next Joke
 
"I asked my girlfriend if she'd like a day of eating ice cream and hanging with her girl friends. She said ""Yes!"". I said ""Good, because I'm breaking up with you."" Fuck you, Chelsey."
"The Monkey Do you know why the monkey fell out of the tree because he was fucking dead."
"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Because of its silent ""p"""
"Confucius say... Man who run in front of car get tired."
"How do you make a baby cry twice? You rub your bloody dick on their teddy bear."
"How does Gandalf know he's pregnant? A wizard is never late."
"I started a band called 999 megabytes We still haven't gotten a gig."
"I think Taylor Swift might actually just be an instagram filter"
"I was going to make a documentary about my sex life but somebody else snatched up the rights to the title. TROLLHUNTER"