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Joke of the Day

"Say ""Literally"" and ""Legit"" a few more times in that sentence so I know it's literally legit"

"He was next in line at Starbucks. Then she cut in front of him. Liam Neeson in TAKEN 3: SKINNY VANILLA MAYHEM."

"I'm gonna go out on a limb and declare 'Drugs' the winner of the war on drugs."

"Why does the sun set at night? The moon scares the daylights out of it!"

"Some nights I stare at the stars wondering if you can see the same ones Then I realize, of course you can, I'm in your backyard"

"I think I finally found your G-Spot. It's been in my wallet the whole time."

"I get the same thing for my birthday every year - a pair of socks and a piece of tail... And they're both two sizes too big."

"I just sighed so hard, I won't have to dust for 6 months."

"What sort of cheese do you use to get a bear to go on a outing with you? Camembert"

"My doctor went to write me a prescription for my heart meds. He pulled out a rectal thermometer out of his pocket and said ""Shit, some asshole has my pen!"""