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Joke of the Day

"Doctor: *taps knee with mallet* feel that? Me: No Doctor: or this? *jabs toe with a pin* Me: Nah Doctor: Just as I suspected. This is my leg"

"I don't like bone jokes.. I don't find them humerus."

"Hire The Pretty Blonde"

"It takes balls to be a man."

"What do you call someone who sells their butthole for sex? Prostatute"

"You can always count on me. Unless standing up for you will make people hate me. Then you're on your own."

"This day holds a lot of meaning for me. It was on this day two years ago that I lost my dear wife and children. I'll never forget that game of cards..."

"I just had my foot run over by a rental car... ...fucking Hertz!"

"why did the scarecrow get a promotion? he was outstanding in his field"

"My favorite position is the JFK I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car."