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Joke of the Day

"Mexican Word of the day: Chicken My wife wanted to get to the grocery store, but chicken go herself"

"If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the entire country of Australia for 44 minutes."

"How many monkeys does it take to write a Shakespeare novel by accident? As many as it takes /r/jokes submitters to write an original joke. (by accident)^^^"

"Dishes are like boyfriends. My roommate should really stop doing mine"

"[inventing flies] GOD: make them eat shit ANGEL: got it GOD: make their babies the grossest things in the world ANGEL: ok who hurt you?"

"How do Southerners get through customs so quickly? They do declare!"

"I have a new theory about the most effective way to sabotage condoms... ... but you'll probably just poke holes."

"i have to wake up at 3 am tomorrow to go to the airport i've honestly never felt more attacked and victimized than i do now"

"I think I lost an electron I'm feeling pretty positive though"

"What does a geography graduate do with a lightbulb? Not get a job."